Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize