things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She bit a glass in half.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize