it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
