Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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