Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize