ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
