i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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