your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Randomize
