I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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