i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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