So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just threw up on my dentist
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
