You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
