I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you still have your period?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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