Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize