He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
