I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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