i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
