I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
