Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
