well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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