I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
