You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
