I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
