There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
