Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
