Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
