$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
50% drunk capacity currently
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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