I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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