he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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