her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
time to smoke my breakfast
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
