AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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