just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
