How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
