I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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