I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
