I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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