mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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