I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize