I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
