I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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