Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
