I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
