Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
