Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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