that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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