No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
