Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
