i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
