wat bout pragnant strippers??
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's shark week go big or go home
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
