I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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