Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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