I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
