So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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