then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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