He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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