i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
