I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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