don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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