fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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